I am a boy, obviously, and not into any specific type of fashion subculture (although I have my own very specific vintage/eccentric tastes that have evolved over time) but I do keep a toe in this thread because of a general love for niche fashion subculture in and from Japan, and also because from an aesthetic standpoint I just really like gothic and lolita styles.
Anyway, I was traversing through the archives of a feminist site I dig on after reading an article about
a Jessica Simpson show on US MTV where she went to Japan (it was horrible, she was ignorant, and for some reason she mumbles a lot) which led me to two very, very, very interesting articles from 2008 concerning the American gothic lolita movement:
The first is a small attempt to understand it from the perception of living in New York, and whether it is empowering and regressive. I found it to be short on details, but the comment section is basically amazing, with opinions from all sides and some serious ignorance/enlightenment going on concerning personal choice.
The second article, much more interesting (and something I thought would interest this thread and readers of it) is from an actual goth lolita enthusiast from New York who was pictured in the first article and whose own style took a beating from many commenters on what is ostesibly a pro-woman, pro-choice, feminist website. Ellie, the woman in question, says that lolita is "most definitely feminist," and goes on to give some super choice quotes about the standards of modern femininity, espousing that "in a pro-ana[rexic] world it's personally pretty refreshing to see people celebrate foods that are not celery and Diet Coke" in reference to certain food-based prints and activities, and "to have the fetishes of an incredibly small portion of men dictate what I wear is ridiculous! To do so is to misunderstand the objective of Lolita, which is really a harmless subculture that does not infringe on anyone else, or infantilize women in general. It is not a symptom of any cultural ill just because its aesthetic inspiration comes from a period when women were subordinate to men. Why should I be worried about sending the 'wrong messages' to men? Why is that my personal responsibility? Isn't that like saying "she was asking for it"? Is the state of feminism that precarious that my wearing a bow on my head is threatening and regressive? Where is the philosophical debate about men who wear short-shorts or sandals and how they make their gender look bad?"
Anyway, I thought it was worth having a look over, even though it's a bit dated and in the world of fashion a year and a half can equate a Grand Canyon of change within a particular trend. But I just found something so authoritative and responsible about quotes like: "Frequently, female sexuality is portrayed in a way that is palatable and accessible to men, and anything outside of that is intimidating. Something so unabashedly female is ultimately kind of scary—in fact, I consider it to be pretty confrontational. Dressing this way takes a certain kind of ownership of one's own sexuality that wearing expected or regular things just does not." That's pretty awesome, I think.
I'm very jealous that you got to meet up with Syd IRL, she's one of my favourite frilly ladies 
